When someone tells you the truth about the present or the past it’s called honesty. When someone tells you the truth about their behavior in the future that’s called Honor. Honorable people have a code of conduct that they live by. You know you can count on an honorable person to keep their word. In that way even ones enemies can be honorable. There was a time when that was a common value. Too many ‘men’ place no value on that quality these days. Call me old fashioned, but I believe Honor is one of the defining qualities of a Real man. It is akin to Integrity. Integrity is holding on to your code of conduct no matter what comes. When the hull of a ship is ruptured or broken it is said to have lost its integrity. When you can’t count on someone to do what they say they are going to…they’ve lost their integrity.
I don’t know why men in previous generations held some values. I don’t know why many couldn’t cry or tell their loved ones “I love you”. Those things don’t make a man ‘weaker’. They establish him as someone secure in his own manhood. It’s is a source of strength to be able to do those things. I’ve often thought the so-called ‘Iron John’ movement was a joke. Those folks claim that men have lost their way since women are more independent these days. That’s’ a load of crap!! Being a real man was never about dominating women! The Iron John types teach men to be sensitive and cry. Men don’t have to cry to be men…they just shouldn’t be afraid to when it’s appropriate. That doesn’t mean it’s OK to be a sissy! A man should be willing to stand up for what’s right just because it’s right.
Men these days have dropped the ball miserably in being Real Men. We don’t expect the same things from ourselves and from each other that we once did. We’ve lost something in the process. When some of us look to the past to reclaim what it means to be a man, we often only see the mistakes that our forefathers made. Being a man was never about dominating or controlling the women in their lives, for example. That’s something fools do. Real men love Real Women and aren’t afraid to let them be themselves. Real men control themselves.
What Real men do is take responsibility for their actions, protect the ones they love, provide for those in their charge and set the example of being upright and honest in dealing with other people. Real men teach their sons how to treat women with love and respect. They teach their daughters how they should expect men to treat them. They give the loved ones in their lives a soft place to land when they fall. Real men aren’t afraid to love because they know that’s where real strength comes from.
OK…so I’m a dinosaur! I prefer the company of Real men to the limp-wristed, cry babies that run from their responsibilities these days. I also prefer Real women, those who don’t think feminine is a dirty word or a sign of weakness. This trend towards a unisex society is hurting all of us! It attempts to emasculate men and it forces women to step up and do what the men in their lives won’t.
Real mean NEVER hit the women and children they love. There is no excuse for that kind of unfocused anger. Real men support their children…whether they are married to their mothers or not. Real men teach their sons to be men by their example. Real men don’t try to be women either. It’s good to be a man! The occasional testosterone rush reminds of that. Women don’t have to understand that part of us. And we don’ t have to understand everything about them!! We should just learn to love and appreciate them…
Here endeth the lesson!
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