There is something inherent in human nature that seeks to conquer, to gain mastery over. It is yet one more quality that separates us from animals and makes us human. Without this quality civilization as we know it would be impossible. And, like most qualities uniquely human, this one has degrees. The lowest level most of us would consider barbaric…it is the level where men seek to conquer each other by killing each other and simply taking what they desire. Though we may hate to admit it, this quality is a part of all of us. It is one of the things that we are at war with in our inner selves. It is ironic that our REAL fight is to conquer ourselves. Traditional human wisdom from many cultures tells us that it’s not the man who conquers a thousand cities that is superior…it is the man who conquers himself.
I have often pondered what it is to conquer oneself… I have come to believe that one of the qualities of a man who has done this is his willingness to participate in natural processes without trying to control them. The most natural process in the world for men is the desire to have relationships with women. Mothers and sons, brothers and sisters, husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends, friends, neighbors whatever…
Now I should say that I think women are the Greatest Creation God ever came up with! I love them…the way they look, the way they smell, the way they move…and I especially like the way they are with each other! They open their hearts to each other in ways that men never do. (I can just see the reaction of one of my hunting buddies if I told him his jeans really brought out the color of his eyes!)
The trouble is, I’m like most men…I don’t understand them. Unlike some of my brothers though…I don’t feel the need to. I just appreciate them. Some men feel the need to conquer them... I think that destroys the very things that make them beautiful. Having been a counselor I’ve sat across the desk from couples in which the ‘men’ (and I’m loathe to use that word in describing them!) have so beaten down the women they ‘love’ that only a shell sat before me. If you listen closely when these women talk…you can hear the sound of a spirit breaking.
There are some sounds that I love…The sound of an infant cooing fills my heart with a quiet joy. The sound of swords meeting in battle and the sound of an eagle crying stir my blood! The sound of striking hot steel with a hammer on an anvil makes me feel powerful! But the sound of a spirit breaking…. it’s almost imperceptible…and it’s the worst sound in the universe to me…
You can see it too. It’s when the light leaves someone’s eyes…. Now I’ll be the first to tell you that I have a temper. I’m suspect of anyone who doesn’t. An old friend used to tell me that mine came from an Apache ancestor. And I’ll admit there were times when I wanted to come over the top of my desk and scalp the ‘man’ responsible for breaking his woman’s spirit! (My bosses assured me that it wouldn’t do well for future business if I were to do so…And it might tend to throw a small kink in my efforts to help the couple if I gave in to those feelings...) I would beg to just be able to slap the guy around a little!! But…I have my own battles to fight and that’s one of them.
I had the wife of a minister ask me once if all men wanted a woman who was a submissive ‘wall flower’… I told her she was asking the wrong man…I love fiery women! (I know… God Help me! …Please pray for me!) And yes…I’m still single…
I think I’ve learned a few things from some of the women I love. I’ve seen spirits broken and I’ve seen some open up like roses in the Spring. Why anyone would want to conquer them is even more of a mystery to me than they are?
I’ve also learned about participating in natural processes from the animals I love. I love horses. Some people will tell you they love the smell of newborn babies…I do…but I also love the smell of horses. Even the…less desirable…aspects of being around them…(those left behind in their stalls). Smells like home to me! I love a spirited horse especially! I have NO desire to break their spirits…just the opposite in fact. I embrace their wildness and their freedom! I wouldn’t change them if I could!
I feel the same about birds of prey. I get a rush from seeing a Peregrine falcon in a stoop for its’ prey. A peregrine can hit 225 miles an hour in a stoop! They are the fastest animals on earth. I’ve ridden the wind with them in my heart and mind. I’ve watched them slice through the air ...sleek and efficient and deadly like an F-15. I’ve participated with them in their wildness. There is no other feeling on earth like holding out a gloved hand and watching a bird of prey come to land on it!
I don’t equate women with horses or raptors at all… But I’m attracted to them for some of the same reasons. Far from wanting to conquer them…I just want to be around them to participate with them. If some of my brothers only knew that feeling…
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