Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Boys and Girls...Men and Women


I like women, but not just in the way one might think. I like they way they look, the way they smell, they way they move, and I like the way they are with each other. Women will freely open their hearts to each other in ways few men would ever think of. A wise man can learn a lot from women. Women can also learn some things from men.

I’ve given it some thought and I think the genetic make up of women drives them to behave completely differently than men. I don’t believe it's all in how we’re are raised. Contrary to what some PhDs’ would have us think…men and women really are different. Luckily, there are enough people still endowed with common sense to see that. That’s a perspective I believe one has to start with if one ever hopes to understand how men and women interact.

Men and women are only whole when they’re together. When we remain separate and only spend time with our own sex we tend to get a skewed perspective on life. Children, especially, need mothers and fathers to get a complete picture of how separate parts make up the whole.

When I was a little boy, if I were to fall and skin my knee, my father would tell me to pick my chin up and take it like a man! If one of my sisters were to do the same, he would speak softly to her, hug her and kiss her bruise to make her feel better. I don’t resent that in any way…it’s what I would do myself if I had children. I think boys need to be strong and that’s the proper way to teach them. Only the shortsighted among us apologize for that.

In a related way little girls are encouraged to show love and affection. They can do with it their dolls, with their pets, with other little girls and no one thinks anything of it. Boys are just expected to be more…‘manly’...than that. To develop that strength, boys are not encouraged to show all their feelings. Now, I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes that can go too far, but on the whole I think it’s a good way to raise young men. The world is tough and it takes tough men and women to deal with it.

When men learn to let their guards down it’s usually with a woman. She’s the more experienced in showing love and, while that can be a problem, if he’s open to it, she can teach him how to love. Men and women can learn from each other. Again, I think that’s a good way to do it. When boys are raised to be men this way they don’t open their hearts often. When they do love though…it can be a strong love. Call me a sexist, but I think women are the best at teaching men how to love. Mothers, grandmothers, aunts, sisters, girlfriends even neighbors are all teachers for boys.

I don’t think women are as good at raising boys as men are. Women, in general, don’t understand what it takes to raise a little boy to become a man. Women want to nurture and keep all harm away from their children and that’s a great thing…but it isn’t always the best thing for little boys trying to become men. Sometimes they need to experience pain to prepare them for a tough world.

There is a concerted effort in the US today to eradicate all the traits from little boys that feminists feel are ‘undesirable’. What that amounts to is the emasculation of young men and it won’t work. It has the opposite effect in fact…it makes boys meaner and more violent in the end.
Boys need the guidance and influence of good men to become good men themselves. Unfortunately, good men are in short supply these days. Frustrated single mothers have had to step to the plate and try to take the place of good men. That’s a shame on men everywhere. While I admire and applaud single mothers, they just aren’t equipped to teach boys some of the things young men need to know. Women can teach men and boys how to love. That’s one of the many strengths of women. But, only a real man can teach a boy to become a man.

Women need to stop trying to be men and stop trying to change men. Instead of trying to emasculate them…women should encourage them to step up to the plate and be real men! That isn’t the same as being a woman with different plumbing… Men and women are different! Women need to realize that, and be grateful for it instead of trying to remake men into what they ‘think’ men should be.

Men need to realize that being a real man has nothing to do with sexual exploits or what you drive or what sports you play. Being a Real man is about having integrity; having the strength of character to stand up for what's right. Being a real man is being honorable and doing the right thing. It means giving the women and children in your life someone to look up to and respect.
Real men don’t walk out on their responsibilities. Real men don’t walk out on their families. They take care of the women they love and the children they bring into the world.

We need to dump the idea of unisex that pervades and infects our society. Men and women are different…and we need each other to be whole. We need to be glad we’re different and take pride in it!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

As a single mother of a male child, I find that much of what you say is true. I realized early on that even though I was raised with 11 brothers, I could not raise the "man" side of my child. Today, he is an Eagle scout because I found the right "male" community for him. He is also in hockey and martial arts. As a result he has had many male role models and advisors.