The Power of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is without doubt one of the fundamental elements of Christianity. Perhaps it is the fundamental element. Forgiveness is the key to Gods plan. God forgives us our sins and we are commanded to forgive one another of the wrongs we do each other. Without forgiveness Gods plan would be pointless. There would be no hope for any of us. Without our forgiving each other we would be unable to live together in harmony or know any kind of inner peace. Forgiveness is the foundation upon which a Christian life is built.

I’ve thought about writing an article on forgiveness for some time now. I first thought to do so in general, academic terms with a kind of dispassionate observers perspective. I came to realize that my own personal story may be the best way to approach the subject. Maybe there is someone struggling out there who needs a personal story to connect with. This is my testimony of forgiveness.

As a child I lived in a home filled with alcoholism, physical abuse and violence. The details aren’t important anymore. It was a long time ago. But it occurred at such an early stage in my life that it affected everything in my life for decades. For most of my life my relationships with other people have all been tainted by the abuse I suffered. I know that I’m nothing special. Unfortunately this is far too common a story in our world. Too many of us have had to deal with similar things, or far worse, in their own lives. The good news is that there is a way out of the darkness such things bring into our lives. The truth really can set you free…

For years I never talked about the darkness abuse brought into my life. It was too personal. I balled my feelings up and pushed them deep down inside me without ever addressing them. They kept me from getting too close to any other human being. They kept me from being able to trust anyone. They kept me from being hurt again. They made me prone to depression. And, they awakened dreams of revenge in me. Like a spiritual cancer those feelings slowly ate away at me. I clung to the hate they created in me like it was a personal treasure. That hate gave me a feeling of power, a power I didn’t have in my childhood.

I became a Christian some years later. With my efforts to seek God and obey His will I began to study His word. When I first read in the scriptures His admonition to love our enemies it was very hard to hear, but my heart knew it was the truth. I probably read the scriptures about how I should forgive my enemies hundreds of times, all without connecting what I was reading to my issues. It wasn’t talking to me it was talking to other people. I wasn’t ready to let go of my power. I wasn’t ready to let go of the dark feelings that felt good to me. The armor of God I wore was full of chinks.

One day, after professing to be a follower of Christ for years, I read about forgiveness yet again in Gods word. This time I realized He was speaking to me. I finally took it personally. In prayer I admitted that I didn’t have the ability to forgive, I just didn’t know how. But I knew that God, through His grace and the power of His Holy Spirit, could do it through me if I would get out of the way. So I prayed for God to work through me and forgive those who had hurt me. True to His word He worked in me to do it. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t an overnight event, it took me a long time asking the same prayer to finally let go of my hate and resentment. But it happened. God set me free of something that had pulled me down my whole life. I felt as if an enormous weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I began to feel Gods love. I still have scars on my body but my heart has been healed.

I had to repent of my dark feelings before God could forgive through me. Repentance is closely related to forgiveness. Repentance, admitting our sins, shortcomings and weaknesses opens our hearts and allows Gods forgiveness and love to flow through us. Only God’s light can drive out the darkness.

It seems a part of our human condition that we allow so many things to come between us. We want to see ourselves as separate. It makes us feel special. It also cuts us off from each other. But we are dynamic beings. Holding on to darkness only causes us to stagnate. It doesn’t allow us to grow. It pulls us down. God’s love, God’s light is dynamic. It flows through us and uplifts us.

I’ve made it a part of my life to study mankind by studying myself. I’ve learned that we hold on to hate and resentment because they feel good. They can give us a sense of power and control. God’s Holy Spirit working in me quietly taught me that that kind of power is an illusion. It only works to pull us down. Hate and resentment only hurt the one who holds on to them. They don’t cause the one hated to lose any sleep.

There’s a popular parable that says each of us has two dogs fighting inside us, one good; one evil. The one that wins is the one that we feed the most. I know feeding the one that holds hate in us feels good. I also know that road holds no inner peace. It only leads to destruction. Satan uses those chinks in Gods armor to constantly pull us away from God. I know that forgiveness is the only way to let it go. It feeds the good dog in us. Forgiveness is a part of love and real love flows from God like rivers of living water.

The truth is we are all connected. We all come from the same ancestors and they came from God. I wonder at people who question whether God even exists. I think they must live in a kind of prison. I want to shout to them from the rooftops that I KNOW God exists because of what He has done in me! I know that God is Love. He doesn’t exist ‘out there’ in some intellectual realm. He can live in us, if we make room for Him by allowing His light to drive out the darkness in us.

Because God’s love is dynamic we can’t just stop at forgiveness. We are called on to go further. We are called on to love our enemies. I knew that my heart had truly been healed when I was able to pray for those who hurt me and mean it.

I used to think of miracles, like calling down fire from heaven to destroy ones enemies, as the greatest proofs of Gods power to mankind. I came to realize that what He wrought in me by teaching me to forgive was a greater miracle. I don’t need any greater proof of His love…