Looking into the Abyss...

I found out a few days ago that the wife of a good friend committed suicide. It was like being kicked in the stomach for me. I can only imagine what it’s been like for my friend. His wife was the central point of his life. I don’t know any words that would comfort him…but my heart is with my friend.

Having been a counselor, I’ve known others who came see death as the only way out of their pain. They came to see life as a burden instead of a blessing. I can’t shake the feeling that I somehow failed those who came to me for help and went on to take their own lives. I live with their faces in my memory.

To someone without a sense of purpose in life, without a sense of meaning, life can seem unbearably empty. Clinical depression, an imbalance in brain chemistry, can cause us to perceive life that way, even if we do believe in a higher purpose. It can seem like an endless abyss.

My friend’s wife looked into the abyss and all she saw was darkness and despair. The pain and the emptiness became too much for her. It’s a scary thing to do…looking into the abyss. I once looked into it and saw only darkness and despair too. I know what it is to lose hope and fall into the emptiness. Without a firm footing it’s easy to lose one’s way. Depression affects so many of us and yet it remains undiagnosed so often. Many people feel like they should be able to simply shake it off. When it's true clinical depression that’s just not the case. The light at the end of the tunnel seems just too far away.

As a Christian, I know God as my rock and my foundation, He is where my footing is and I know it’s sure. Knowing God as my foundation has changed my perspective of the abyss. I now see it as full of hope and possibility. The thing that helped me the most was a simple ‘Thank You’. I just began to say 'Thank You' to God for this life, this gift that He’s given me. In that simple act my perception began to change. I began to see life as a blessing. I wish I knew a better way to share that with others.

Having been in the light it’s hard to see people wander aimlessly in the darkness. I just want to call out and tell them the light is all around them…if they’ll only open their hearts to see it. We can only do what we can do…we can’t live someone else’s life for them. We can’t make someone else’s decisions for them.

What we can do is be there for them. Sometimes just ones presense or the sound of a familiar voice nearby is a comfort. To learn to love one another is why we’re here. Love reaches out into the darkness and points the way towards the light. It’s too late for my friends wife. Maybe I can help point the way for my friend now.

May we all move onward and upward into the light.